Rosenthal Mutakati Ghetto Blast
The prevailing tough economic challenges we are wading through have spawned a wave of religious consciousness that is rendering most roads across Harare impassable every weekend as people flock to places of worship. It now takes close to 30 minutes on a weekend to cross from Malvern Shops to a blue-roofed structure across Simon Mazorodze Road, with traffic police in tow.
“KwaMagaya, kwaMagaya, kwaMagaya,” you hear touts shouting at pick-up points across the city while ferrying passengers to this place, contributing to the unusual human mass in the area.
Food and airtime vendors will be on site to squeeze cash from people in need of their services.
The situation is the same across Rekai Tangwena Avenue where thousands also flock to United Family International Church services conducted by Prophet Emmanuel Makandiwa.
In other open spaces, youthful guys who don red and yellow suits will be shouting messages of hope and deliverance to a handful of their followers.
At some workplaces, people join prayer groups where they share the bread of life and give each other a shoulder to lean on when calamity strikes.
Footpaths on the outskirts of most ghettos and hills lead to apostolic sect shrines where wonder works and other rituals are performed.
“Ambuya vako vakarerwa, vakakurira kukereke/Ko iwe endawo, enda kukereke/Zuva rekufa munin’ina uchachemwa kukereke/Ko iwe endawo, endawo kukereke,” you hear parishioners singing melodiously every Sunday.
It is now difficult to pay someone a visit on a Sunday and find them at home.
“Ah maita lucky chokwadi. Tanga totobuda zvese nanababa kuenda kuchechi. Vana ndivo vatungamira kare,” you hear women saying while resplendent in their church attire while clutching Bibles.
While plausible that people are now going to church, will this translate into a sharp decline in the crime rate and vices like prostitution?
Will this end dishonesty?
Will this end people’s earthly desires like wealth?
There is just something about prayer, holy water and holy oil that is driving people mad.
While apostolic sects of old were known to pray for cooking oil and water, latter-day prophets are reportedly selling “holy” water in specially designed containers at prohibitive prices.
As I commit pen to paper gentle reader, these containers of anointed water and oil are now an integral component of the contents of most women’s handbags.
Bosses are in trouble by being made to sit on tables sprayed with this oil and water as their secretaries seek to extend their stay at work.
If you let your secretary or orderly buy your lunch, half the time you would be made to tuck into chicken pieces sprayed with this so-called anointed water and oil.
Lending people money is no longer safe.
Before the cash is paid back, be assured that it will be sprayed with this funny water and oil before being handed over to you.
There is nothing wrong with being God-fearing, but certain things should not be foisted on you without your express permission or consent.
Eating lunch away from home is no longer safe.
They will prepare the food in well-sanitised conditions before spoiling the broth with these anointed water and oil whose hygienic conditions only God knows.
Nowadays there are more people in churches than in bars.
It only takes real men of God to lead these parishioners in the way God desires while the wicked have thousands to mislead.
Coming as this does in an era when pastors are being accused of bedding married members of their flock and deflowering young girls in the churches, one wonders where the law enforcement agents are when the country is under siege from people hiding behind Christianity.
Some churches, yours truly heard, are run on pure business terms.
They have been reduced to money-making ventures where people are lured through fake wonder works like raising people from the dead and exorcising demons.
Some latter-day evangelists are having to be chased away from supermarkets where they will reportedly be praying for the people.
In his day, Jesus never conducted prayers in places where he compromised the security of establishments and you wonder from whose notes these preachers of today are reading.
Some of these churches run car raffles and only God knows whether proper gambling laws are followed when these funny competitions are conducted in places of worship.
There is nothing wrong in worshipping Yahweh with one’s might without leading vulnerable people astray.
Most churches of today are reportedly running dating agencies which pair well-to-do men with less-privileged women.
“Hanzvadzi Mwari vanokuda. Vakusarudzira murume akasukwa neropa regwayana,” you hear these preachers telling the unsuspecting young women in confidence.
Some of the churches of today are reportedly running car sales business while others will lend you money at a “Godly fee”.
“Being a church we do not usually lend people money, but if you have need we can lend you at 10 percent because we want to raise money to build a new church which can accommodate all of us and other new converts,” you will be told straight in the eye.
Even offerings in church are being demanded in huge denominations.
The more you give, the more you receive, parishioners are made to believe, yet all the money they pay is funnelled into the church leader’s pockets before being splashed on luxuries and women.
It is good to pray and be in touch with other worshippers, but when this is done for the world to see while one remains wicked, the world is bound to ask questions.
Inotambika mughetto.
The prevailing tough economic challenges we are wading through have spawned a wave of religious consciousness that is rendering most roads across Harare impassable every weekend as people flock to places of worship. It now takes close to 30 minutes on a weekend to cross from Malvern Shops to a blue-roofed structure across Simon Mazorodze Road, with traffic police in tow.
“KwaMagaya, kwaMagaya, kwaMagaya,” you hear touts shouting at pick-up points across the city while ferrying passengers to this place, contributing to the unusual human mass in the area.
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| Prophet Emmanuel Makandiwa. |
The situation is the same across Rekai Tangwena Avenue where thousands also flock to United Family International Church services conducted by Prophet Emmanuel Makandiwa.
In other open spaces, youthful guys who don red and yellow suits will be shouting messages of hope and deliverance to a handful of their followers.
At some workplaces, people join prayer groups where they share the bread of life and give each other a shoulder to lean on when calamity strikes.
Footpaths on the outskirts of most ghettos and hills lead to apostolic sect shrines where wonder works and other rituals are performed.
“Ambuya vako vakarerwa, vakakurira kukereke/Ko iwe endawo, enda kukereke/Zuva rekufa munin’ina uchachemwa kukereke/Ko iwe endawo, endawo kukereke,” you hear parishioners singing melodiously every Sunday.
It is now difficult to pay someone a visit on a Sunday and find them at home.
“Ah maita lucky chokwadi. Tanga totobuda zvese nanababa kuenda kuchechi. Vana ndivo vatungamira kare,” you hear women saying while resplendent in their church attire while clutching Bibles.
While plausible that people are now going to church, will this translate into a sharp decline in the crime rate and vices like prostitution?
Will this end dishonesty?
 |
| Prophet Magaya |
There is just something about prayer, holy water and holy oil that is driving people mad.
While apostolic sects of old were known to pray for cooking oil and water, latter-day prophets are reportedly selling “holy” water in specially designed containers at prohibitive prices.
As I commit pen to paper gentle reader, these containers of anointed water and oil are now an integral component of the contents of most women’s handbags.
Bosses are in trouble by being made to sit on tables sprayed with this oil and water as their secretaries seek to extend their stay at work.
If you let your secretary or orderly buy your lunch, half the time you would be made to tuck into chicken pieces sprayed with this so-called anointed water and oil.
Lending people money is no longer safe.
Before the cash is paid back, be assured that it will be sprayed with this funny water and oil before being handed over to you.
There is nothing wrong with being God-fearing, but certain things should not be foisted on you without your express permission or consent.
Eating lunch away from home is no longer safe.
They will prepare the food in well-sanitised conditions before spoiling the broth with these anointed water and oil whose hygienic conditions only God knows.
Nowadays there are more people in churches than in bars.
It only takes real men of God to lead these parishioners in the way God desires while the wicked have thousands to mislead.
Coming as this does in an era when pastors are being accused of bedding married members of their flock and deflowering young girls in the churches, one wonders where the law enforcement agents are when the country is under siege from people hiding behind Christianity.
Some churches, yours truly heard, are run on pure business terms.
They have been reduced to money-making ventures where people are lured through fake wonder works like raising people from the dead and exorcising demons.
Some latter-day evangelists are having to be chased away from supermarkets where they will reportedly be praying for the people.
In his day, Jesus never conducted prayers in places where he compromised the security of establishments and you wonder from whose notes these preachers of today are reading.
Some of these churches run car raffles and only God knows whether proper gambling laws are followed when these funny competitions are conducted in places of worship.
There is nothing wrong in worshipping Yahweh with one’s might without leading vulnerable people astray.
Most churches of today are reportedly running dating agencies which pair well-to-do men with less-privileged women.
“Hanzvadzi Mwari vanokuda. Vakusarudzira murume akasukwa neropa regwayana,” you hear these preachers telling the unsuspecting young women in confidence.
Some of the churches of today are reportedly running car sales business while others will lend you money at a “Godly fee”.
“Being a church we do not usually lend people money, but if you have need we can lend you at 10 percent because we want to raise money to build a new church which can accommodate all of us and other new converts,” you will be told straight in the eye.
Even offerings in church are being demanded in huge denominations.
The more you give, the more you receive, parishioners are made to believe, yet all the money they pay is funnelled into the church leader’s pockets before being splashed on luxuries and women.
It is good to pray and be in touch with other worshippers, but when this is done for the world to see while one remains wicked, the world is bound to ask questions.
Inotambika mughetto.
