WHAT comes first: love or money?
Do couples talk about money before or after marriage?
When and how should they have these discussions?
HIV activist, health and relationships counsellor, TV personality and host of Relate, Angie Diale, said most women in black communities are only taught how to be women in their homes and wives to their husbands, but sadly they’re not taught how to manage finances.
Speaking at the Power FM and BrightRock discussion on money and marriage last Thursday, Angie said: “Why can’t women be taught how to prepare for marriage financially?”
She encouraged women to ask questions about money and discuss expenses and future investments with their partners.
“Even if you’re not married yet, ladies should learn about their men’s spending habits. Check where he’s taking you out for lunch and how he’s dressed.
“A guy with integrity shouldn’t see any need to try and impress you by overspending. But even if he does, observe the changes as the relationship escalates. Is he consistent with his spending?” Angie added.
Young people seem to be more open to sharing financial burdens in relationships – from splitting the bill to bigger bills like mortgages, Angie said.
Financial journalist Maya Fischer-French said most people mistake the marriage in community of property as default status.
Be aware of these contracts:
Community of property. If you don’t sign any contract prior to marriage, you automatically marry in community of property. All assets and liabilities are shared between partners
“The problem with this regime is that if your partner has debt and he or she didn’t disclose this to you prior to tying the knot, you by law become liable for that debt,” warned Maya.
The prenuptial agreement or “prenup”, as it’s commonly known, is less popular in the black culture
Maya said this is because people think of signing a contract as betrayal, indicating you don’t trust your partner or you’re already thinking of divorce. But this is, of course, just a myth.
An antenuptial contract (ANC) is a premarital agreement or contract a married couple enter into before marriage
It’s different for all couples but it makes provision for the division of assets after a divorce or a break-up.
ANC without accrual means assets you had before or during the marriage remain separate throughout the marriage.
ANC with accrual means each partner states the value of their assets at the beginning of the marriage, thereafter assets are shared 50/50.
The author of Learner Husband, Stuart Taylor, maintains that different arrangements work for different people.
But one thing many couples about to tie the knot have in common, is the failure to discuss how to spend less on the wedding, so that they still have money after the big day.
“I, like most people, worried about the wedding and that special moment.
“Years into the marriage I had the realisation that couples don’t discuss the important issue of money until it’s too late.
“What men don’t realise is that your family begins as soon as she’s your wife,” Stuart said.
So, sort out the money matters early, and live a happy life forever after!
Do couples talk about money before or after marriage?
When and how should they have these discussions?
HIV activist, health and relationships counsellor, TV personality and host of Relate, Angie Diale, said most women in black communities are only taught how to be women in their homes and wives to their husbands, but sadly they’re not taught how to manage finances.
Speaking at the Power FM and BrightRock discussion on money and marriage last Thursday, Angie said: “Why can’t women be taught how to prepare for marriage financially?”
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| Money can't by you love... |
“Even if you’re not married yet, ladies should learn about their men’s spending habits. Check where he’s taking you out for lunch and how he’s dressed.
“A guy with integrity shouldn’t see any need to try and impress you by overspending. But even if he does, observe the changes as the relationship escalates. Is he consistent with his spending?” Angie added.
Young people seem to be more open to sharing financial burdens in relationships – from splitting the bill to bigger bills like mortgages, Angie said.
Financial journalist Maya Fischer-French said most people mistake the marriage in community of property as default status.
Be aware of these contracts:
Community of property. If you don’t sign any contract prior to marriage, you automatically marry in community of property. All assets and liabilities are shared between partners
“The problem with this regime is that if your partner has debt and he or she didn’t disclose this to you prior to tying the knot, you by law become liable for that debt,” warned Maya.
The prenuptial agreement or “prenup”, as it’s commonly known, is less popular in the black culture
Maya said this is because people think of signing a contract as betrayal, indicating you don’t trust your partner or you’re already thinking of divorce. But this is, of course, just a myth.
An antenuptial contract (ANC) is a premarital agreement or contract a married couple enter into before marriage
It’s different for all couples but it makes provision for the division of assets after a divorce or a break-up.
ANC without accrual means assets you had before or during the marriage remain separate throughout the marriage.
ANC with accrual means each partner states the value of their assets at the beginning of the marriage, thereafter assets are shared 50/50.
The author of Learner Husband, Stuart Taylor, maintains that different arrangements work for different people.
But one thing many couples about to tie the knot have in common, is the failure to discuss how to spend less on the wedding, so that they still have money after the big day.
“I, like most people, worried about the wedding and that special moment.
“Years into the marriage I had the realisation that couples don’t discuss the important issue of money until it’s too late.
“What men don’t realise is that your family begins as soon as she’s your wife,” Stuart said.
So, sort out the money matters early, and live a happy life forever after!
