The founder of Christ Embassy, Pastor Chris Oyakhilome and his wife, Anita – also a pastor – having been having issues in their marriage for sometime now.
The couple, who have two children, encouraged by their congregation and well-wishers have tried unsuccessfully to work on their marriage.Pastor Anita had filed for a divorce at a London court seeking, among others, control of the church in the UK.
However, amid all the drama, only Pastor Chris had spoken publicly about their marriage through his spokesperson, denying and clarifying certain reports. Pastor Anita, until now, had remained silent.
On a recent post on her blog, Pastor Anita claimed that she had been in an “abusive marriage.”
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| Anita Oyakhilome Speaks On Marriage To Pastor Chris |
“Life is a gift from God and you deserve to be happy irrespective of your age, race, gender, background or financial situation. I urge you to appreciate the gift you are, you are precious and valuable. Never lose sight of who you are; begin to create new visions and dreams for your life. Let nothing stop you from growing every day. My story is not one of a bed of roses, far from it but I had a choice to either beat myself over the regret of tolerating abuse for so long or put a stop to the abuse and recreate my life for the best. My journey was not in vain. I can now help others realise that their situation does not define them.”
READ ALSO: Divorce Suit Reveals Hell In Pastor’s Family
She continued: “In order to move on with life, I have come to realise that nothing is permanent. Your problem is not permanent; you can do something to change it by ensuring you do not allow the situation or the person make your life miserable. Pain is a fact of life, it is inevitable but suffering is optional. You can do something to change the pain by overlooking every obstacle, take control as a force of nature to grow and expand. Do what is necessary now to use the gift God has given you to unleash your purpose.
“My message to all is simple: you have value therefore discover your potential. Do not allow anybody destroy you or rob you of living a joyful life. Your life is not wasted; you have just started a different phase of life. God will show you how to use your testimony to help others and restore their lives to exuberance. Please join me to encourage and inspire others. You have a story to tell; you can contribute and participate in the dialogues here. Let us all learn from one another experience and reach others with the gift of love and kindness. Share your experience by emailing me or making a comment. Celebrate your uniqueness because there is only one of you.”
In another post titled ”There is always something to be thankful for,” she quoted American actor, Michael J Fox, writing: ” One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”
She continued: After an abusive relationship or marriage, there is no doubt you will have feelings of deep sorrow for a long time, which could go on for possibly months or even years. These feelings will come and go periodically as you reflect and you remember things from the past that would make you feel distressed.
“You may be inundated with disappointments, which may lead you to voice your regrets, especially coming across certain people or a person. Several Instances could cause flashbacks and bring back thoughts of regret such as; signing a contract, making a decision, joining an organization, trusting people, buying a property. Also your mind would question why you hung unto a dead marriage or stayed in an abusive relationship. Don’t stay in that condition for too long. Regrets will only aggravate your feelings.
Forget about the things you cannot change and focus on being thankful. Don’t put your life on hold, rather plan what you would like to accomplish in one week, one month, three months and in a year’s time.
See the silver lining in the cloud. You may struggle to find or observe that flicker of light emerging out of the darkness but give yourself time to recover from that shocking hopeless experience, then thank God for making you strong enough to walk away from the abuse. The situation might be tough, with burdensome chains, but you will get better. You can rise up to the challenge and improve yourself. Something good will come out of your situation.
You will become a stronger and more productive person when you learn from your experience and use your knowledge to improve yourself for new prospects ahead. “I want my life to bring comfort to others and I am on that journey now thankfully”. Every ending is really a new beginning for beautiful opportunities ahead.“
Pastor Anita, who has since reversed to her maiden name Ebhodaghe, filed for divorce on April 9, 2014 at Divorce Section A, Central Family Court, First Avenue House, High Holborn, London, United Kingdom on the grounds of “unreasonable behaviour.”
Meanwhile, their daughter Carrisa Sharon has embraced music. Sharon is the elder of their two children and she is living with Pastor Chris while the younger sister lives with Pastor Anita.
